Change the World.

If I could change the world, I would be the sunlight in your universe. For once and hopefully finally, I think I've made the right decision. I don't want to dwell on it too much because it could well you know.. I've found someone who suites me quite graciously and to put it in other words, he amazes me. I'm so proud of how he's beginning to change himself and I'm so happy that I can bring him the peace that I can. It's so silly honestly but for the moment I don't care. It's what I really needed and I hope he knows it. I've never felt so light hearted and happy. It's been a short time which makes me feel a little funny but if it's to continue on this way, that's fine with me. I look forward to what my future holds. The last few weeks have been pretty harsh on me and I've been doubtful of almost anything. I couldn't explain what was wrong with me and I couldn't seem to get anything sorted out. My head felt like a ridiculous puddle of nonsensical repression. My art has suffered and to me, that is quite devastating. What is an artist that cannot produce how they feel? Nothing was ever good enough. Piles of paper, broken pencils and failure. Blocked, angst, heartbroken and pain. Indeed some artists function better when in such a state but I cannot. That is not who I am nor will I ever be. I need something guiding my fingers and freeing the images trapped inside my mind. I like to think the possibilities are endless but when one is stuck in such a rut, everything seems against you and there's too much pressure. I don't want to get swallowed every again, it's a terrible feeling but you know as they say "Everything's Eventual". I'm taking things a step at a time and their finally getting better. Change comes to those who make it their own. I know it does. Look at me, I'm finally sleeping easier.