Make out Club.

No matter what I do, I seem to make the same mistakes that I try not to. In a way I enjoy it and that's my decision. I'm only human am I not? I have a sharp tongue and a quick wit. When you play the games that I do, you can't help but want to be a little wicked or facetious if you will. If you're good at it, you can take bullshit and sell it to blind folks. Seven layers and a firm brush stroke teaches you to make yourself and your messages subliminal. You get stuck between two worlds and you're torn because you're not fully aware of what you want. Don't front it, take what you can, give back what you want and call it a day. It's a gift or a curse depends on what you make of it.

Live a Little.

Everything is easier when you're open. There's no such thing as one too many. Baby girl's a queen but the queen's just a pawn with a bunch of fancy moves. How do you do if what you do is wrong? That's makes me giggle personally. I have acquired one of the most cynical senses of humour available to the public. I'll never have the balls to tell myself that I'm wrong. I can admit my faults but I can never say that I'm wrong. Why should I? Someone else can do that job. Indulgence has always been my particular sin. I'm perfectly fine with that. It's not something terrible when you really think about that. And I'm not the only one it affects so whose to say I'm selfish? Ha. I love these sort of situations.

Change the World.

If I could change the world, I would be the sunlight in your universe. For once and hopefully finally, I think I've made the right decision. I don't want to dwell on it too much because it could well you know.. I've found someone who suites me quite graciously and to put it in other words, he amazes me. I'm so proud of how he's beginning to change himself and I'm so happy that I can bring him the peace that I can. It's so silly honestly but for the moment I don't care. It's what I really needed and I hope he knows it. I've never felt so light hearted and happy. It's been a short time which makes me feel a little funny but if it's to continue on this way, that's fine with me. I look forward to what my future holds. The last few weeks have been pretty harsh on me and I've been doubtful of almost anything. I couldn't explain what was wrong with me and I couldn't seem to get anything sorted out. My head felt like a ridiculous puddle of nonsensical repression. My art has suffered and to me, that is quite devastating. What is an artist that cannot produce how they feel? Nothing was ever good enough. Piles of paper, broken pencils and failure. Blocked, angst, heartbroken and pain. Indeed some artists function better when in such a state but I cannot. That is not who I am nor will I ever be. I need something guiding my fingers and freeing the images trapped inside my mind. I like to think the possibilities are endless but when one is stuck in such a rut, everything seems against you and there's too much pressure. I don't want to get swallowed every again, it's a terrible feeling but you know as they say "Everything's Eventual". I'm taking things a step at a time and their finally getting better. Change comes to those who make it their own. I know it does. Look at me, I'm finally sleeping easier.