Chemicals.

You know how uncomfortable I can get. Strange faces, strange places and no solace to be found anywhere. Those things that give me comfort and always took away the aching in my heart have turned against me. I suppose I figured everything was back to normal but a few weeks ago I begun to get weaker. My lungs feel as if they are filled with lead and I can't help but force something up every time I manage to cough. My body hurts in way that are foreign to me and I just feel so run down. Laying in bed takes effort because I feel so dull. It's as if every organ, tissue and muscle can be felt now and they are screaming at me. I don't know how to ease this pain or what to do anymore. Painkillers? Ha, they'll be the death of me. My stomach feels rotten as if it can no longer hold much at all. I don't eat much, it's too much effort to hold it down. My brain is fuzzy and tries to convince me that I've gone insane. They live in my brain. Those nameless things that feed on my darkness. Maybe I have gone crazy but who's to care? I'll have to live with it, if they don't kill me first. I can't live without them but I'm doing my best, they are the ones that keep nightmares from becoming reality. They make it easy for me to sleep long hours of my life but lately that's been hard. Sleep is hot, fitful and terrifying. I stay awake for hours almost until sunrise because of the pain. It feels as if my spine has been pushed over and i just don't know anymore. They no longer love me.. have I betrayed them some how? Killing you while you're killing me.