Adagio Catasthrope.

Everything isn't blue skies as far as one may think. The rain clouds never seem to disappear and there isn't a fucking thing that you can do about it. Oh that umbrella you just bought has a huge hole in it. One just has to love the days when everything seems to go fucking wrong and you just kinda have to sit there in a stupor asking yourself "Why the fuck did this happen?" But I'm gonna have to sit there and shake my head on the side of the road because my tire just blew out. Damn, my life could be a country song.. Well that's one way to pay the bills. Pretend like I have talent and hopefully sleep my way to the top. I guess it's better than waiting tables or standing on the corner.. I won't be happy but I'll be safe. Things will get better it has to be so, because isn't that what hardships are about? Testing one's ability to resolve and just deal with things? I wouldn't know because I seem to fail at that. I have a hard time dealing because I'm such an antagonist. Things fall through my fingers faster than grains of sand could ever dream. It's my direct nature to go about things the "hard" way. I often find myself in repeat situations that are just plain stupid and if asked if i could do them again my reply is "yep." No wonder I'm so pissy but doing things easily is such a fucking bore. It's not fun at all and I deserve a good challenge thrown my way every now and again. I often find myself more alone than anything because I have the tendency to push people away. and I have the temperment of a tormented rhino. If you annoy me you're lucky to stay anywhere near me. Stupid is not cute. I can't deal with the useless bullshit that comes from your mouth. I can only take so much and then I snap. Then all hell breaks loose and I find myself trying not to rip your throat out with my bare teeth. Hmm.. that would be a great feeling. To finally get that peace and quiet I deserve. Fucking metaphors are so tempting as is world play but I am not in that sort of mood this morning. I'm raging and straightforward with my anger. Oh baby, I am an animal and it isn't a pretty sight. Not the cutelittle kitten you adore so much because I have the habit of curling up in your lap and dozing lightly when you pet me. The jungle cat is out and you've just fucked with her. Not smart. Teeth and nails that just want to feel and destroy. And there ain't a damn thing you can do about it. you should have thought about that before you opened your mouth. That's the dangerous part about my species. There's simply no remose to be felt. I can't do it, and I can't honestly be guilty if I don't feel "guilt". I guess that's what the problem is. I don't "feel" thing properly. that takes away from my pretty face but i guess I can easily live with that. What choice do I have? It's when that fear sneaks up and grabs me by the back of the neck and I'm paralyzed. There's no words that I can use to slyly get out of this situation. There's no money to be used as a bribe. There's no sex to be promised. I hate being stuck in a world with so many catch 22's but isn't that what makes us enjoy life? Ha!