Follow Your Bliss

So here I am doing one of the things that I just happen to do best. Thinking. Something is always on my mind and I don't always know how to explain it. It's a pleasant feeling since it makes me realize that I am never truely alone; I have the companionship of my thoughts. However difficult they may be. What did you expect? Madness is fascinating. I guess I'm standing in front of an open window without a clue in my mind what to do about it. Should I jump or should I fall? Better yet should I close this window and walk away entirely? too many possible routes. But I love it. Love is something that I find quite puzzling. There are two types and that is far as I am willing to take it. I guess I'm left without answers but this is nothing new. I think that in my own insecurities I am slightly frightened. Not of the new or the old but of the unknown. And doesn't that make me a little more human because have a down side? Humanity is something that we need to grasp and realize it should be fixed. We as a people should make ourselves better. Selfaware and for god sake be self relient! Oh Emerson.. if only your words could touch more. I see no problem with needing help as long as one doesn't become a parasite. That's not what we're to live like. I've been reflecting on this subject alot lately becxause I need to get in touch with mine. I guess I'll grab a mirror when I look home to see something I am quite familiar with. A pretty face can always hide the secrets of the heart. Those eyes hold many things but that's another story for another time. But not everything is hidden, don't take me wrong. I'm not trying to come off as negative or vindictive. This just is a personal dwelling for a moment. I mean isn't that what I've been taught to do? Appreciate myself however ewrfrgdsg I may be. Heh I thought of that just a minute ago and the sly smile touched my lips. I want to apologize and kiss a coin, throw my sins of the docks and peacefully walk away. I need that quiet time. A vacation from the madness and monotony. Just myself and some interspection. Maybe that'll work this time. I feel so bothered by the fact that I'm confused. Things have been moving too fast for my tastes because I'm used to slow country afternoons where I could sit at the creek and watch it babble endlessly. Life moves on more quickly than what I have a taste for. I just want it all to slow down and at least give me a chance to catch up. That's what I really need. A chance. I don't believe in asking for help because for the most part I am self made and in that way I hope to never unwaver. Attachment is what draws the most resentment from me but hey, we're not meant to be robots. We have free will, desire and choices. I think the oppertunity is unending. Nothing is really over anymore is it? Everything is not only eventual but immortal. Even if it dies out the memory is still left there for someone to analyze. I thank my heart for this. It may be weak but at the same time this little organ is amazing. Damn literal and figurative connotations. I love being left to my own devices. It's much more peaceful when I'm calm.
I feel blissful.