Looking back.

I just wanna take this time to apologize. I never meant those things I said. The pain I caused, I wish I could just take it away and let it lie in my heart. But I know that things could never ever be that simple. I only want to know why you did those things to me? Played me as your pawn so you could find happiness. Sometimes I think about all the things we went through and I wonder what I could have done differently and how that would alter how things are now. I just wish that I could have been smarter and not trusted you like I did. My only regret was not being there in the end and the only thing I hate was that I loved you so fucking much.