Kid Nothing.

Lately I've found myself thinking about things that used to be. I'm happy with the changes I've made and how I've bettered myself. I do not regret but one thing in the last few years however I'm not willing to bring that to light just yet. I need a little bit more time for that and perhaps someone to share it with. I've been listening to more Gym Class Heroes and it just seems to make me realize things I never have before. It puts me at ease and that's something rather unusual. I strive to make others comfortable and while doing so I put myself to the side lines. I'm okay with that but it means I repress my feeling and my personal issues. I wish I could tattoo Thug Life on God's Stomach. I wanna take my art somewhere and just disappear from the world and all that is. The air's thick and heavy, nobody takes advantage of the gifts they've been given. Things are just falling apart and being wasted. This time it can't be fixed. What are you to do when the maze has no ending? That's what I would like to know. Do you need me like I would hope you do? Time will only tell. I'm willing to put my back against the wall once more.

Walrus and the Carpenter.

The time has come my little friends, to talk of many things; of ships, and sails, and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings, and why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings.
Stuck in time, dream a bit and never forget who loved you best. Who scorned you worst and held you through your downfall. Speaking your mind in the right company can be very pleasing but in the wrong sorts the consequences can be crippling. You have to wonder if you should say anything or should you just keep quiet? The chance you take can either make you or it can shatter you. Watch from afar and pray that you aren't noticed. Things are kept at their simplest when nobody notices you. Everything is easier when nobody sees you. Anonymity is the opposite of immortality. Maybe I'm the only one who understands that but it's so easy to see. If you don't want to live forever, make it look like you never lived at all. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be unavailable. If you feel that it's necessary. I'm alright with that.

Chemicals.

You know how uncomfortable I can get. Strange faces, strange places and no solace to be found anywhere. Those things that give me comfort and always took away the aching in my heart have turned against me. I suppose I figured everything was back to normal but a few weeks ago I begun to get weaker. My lungs feel as if they are filled with lead and I can't help but force something up every time I manage to cough. My body hurts in way that are foreign to me and I just feel so run down. Laying in bed takes effort because I feel so dull. It's as if every organ, tissue and muscle can be felt now and they are screaming at me. I don't know how to ease this pain or what to do anymore. Painkillers? Ha, they'll be the death of me. My stomach feels rotten as if it can no longer hold much at all. I don't eat much, it's too much effort to hold it down. My brain is fuzzy and tries to convince me that I've gone insane. They live in my brain. Those nameless things that feed on my darkness. Maybe I have gone crazy but who's to care? I'll have to live with it, if they don't kill me first. I can't live without them but I'm doing my best, they are the ones that keep nightmares from becoming reality. They make it easy for me to sleep long hours of my life but lately that's been hard. Sleep is hot, fitful and terrifying. I stay awake for hours almost until sunrise because of the pain. It feels as if my spine has been pushed over and i just don't know anymore. They no longer love me.. have I betrayed them some how? Killing you while you're killing me.